Stillness

Our house is so still and quite right now.  P is upstairs sleeping in, which he totally deserves.  He was gone for 4 weeks for pre-deployment training.  This weekend and next he has "4 Days."  We will be heading home to see friends and family next weekend so this weekend will be full of together time and rest.

When he was gone the silence was at times deafening.  Now it's so welcome because I know he's here, relaxed, and we are happy.

 I was out to lunch with a friend while P was gone as was her hubby.  She said that the training was also good for the wives.  It get us ready for months of being alone, months of single parents,and  sole decision makers.  It is a good trial run.  I missed P a lot while he was gone, so much that I left for 10 days to be with my mom in Florida.

 Deployment will be different in that about 10 weeks after he leaves I will be having our baby.  Having the baby without him is at times hugely daunting.  I know I will have my mom here for about 10-14 days and the Douala we hired for the actual birth.  But my husband is missing this huge event and if I allow myself to dwell it breaks my heart.  Which is exactly why I have to focus on the fact thousands of women are in the same boat as me and I know I have the strength to do it.

Boy....

That was NOT the direction I was planning on heading this morning   I was going to tell you about the awesome taco pizza I made last night, the pretty mist this morning hanging in the changing trees, and the ham and bean soup I have in the crock pot.  I guess this was were my head was.

Pumpkin Bars

I love a clean house!  Nothing feels better than when you are done giving everything a good scrub and it smells great and is all sparkly!

Fall is defiantly here in the North Country.  Cool sunny days and brisk nights.  I love fall.  It's is my favorite season.  The mums, pumpkins, apples, leaves, cider, and yummy comfort food.

Last night I made a pear and pork chop dish that was amazing.  I want to share the recipe once I tweak it a bit.  I also roasted a small sugar pumpkin and made pumpkin bars.  By small I mean small, I only got just over 2 cups of meat out of it.

Here is the recipe!

Pumpkin Pie Bars

(adapted from Eagle Brands Recipe)

3/4 cup All Purpose Flour
3/4 cup Rolled Oats

• 1 cup finely chopped pecans

• 1/2 cup sugar

• 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, divided

• 3/4 cup butter ( I thought this was WAY too much, next time I plan on using 1/2 cup

• 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin or 2 cups fresh pumpkin

• 1 (14 ounce) can Sweetened Condensed Milk

• 2 eggs, beaten

• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice

• 1/4 teaspoon salt

• 1 tablespoon All Purpose Flour
• 
  

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. In medium bowl, combine 3/4 cup flour,3/4 cup oats, nuts, sugars and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Add butter, mix until crumbly with a pastry cutter. Reserve 1 1/4 cups of the mixture. Pat remaining mixture on bottom of ungreased 13x9-inch baking pan.

Meanwhile, in large mixing bowl, combine pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, eggs, remaining 1 teaspoon cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, allspice and salt; mix well. Pour evenly over crust. Mix reserved crumbs with 1 tablespoon flour. Sprinkle over pumpkin mixture.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until set. Cool 10 minutes. Serve warm, very good with vanila ice cream and/or cool whip. Store leftovers in refrigerator.

Oh my, it's been such a long time

I can't believe how long it has been since I posted!

The wedding was amazing!  Went off with out a hitch, other than being the hottest weekend of the year.  Everyone one we love was there with us.

The trip to New York was great too.  It was so hard to say good-bye, especially to my closest friend and her sweet daughter.  We were planning on spending one night on the road at Niagara Falls, but my hubby forgot his passport at home!  We are going to try to head out there while we are still stationed here.

About a week after we arrive in NY I found out I am PREGNANT!!!  I can hardly believe it.  I am due March 24th, about a month and a half after P leaves for the desert. 

This is such a brief overview of life, but it has been so long I thought it would be better to just jump right in to regular posts.  So that's my goal for tomorrow.

Neglected

Neglected is what this blog is.....

My computer bit the dust.  I got a new one over the weekend ( Thanks P!!!), but I have no internet.  I am going to Panera, Corner Bakery, Caribou, etc to use the WiFi. I think it's making me fat since I have to get food, cookies, or coffee every time :)

 I think I am going to put blogging on hold until after the wedding.

Not only am I busy, but what I want to blog about is to personal and needs to wait for after the big day.

Needless to say I am anxious for July to get here.  I can't wait to be P's wife and get back to NNY, which now feels more like home than I ever could have thought it would.

Thankful Thursday (Road Trip Edition)

That Illinois has open road tolling, gates are lame and defeat the purpose of using any sort of EZ-Pass in Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York.

Violet did fairly well, had to run the A/C the whole time for her.

I master driving the square in the town we will be living in.

There were lots of Starbucks along the ride.

I am really proud that I did both ends of the trip straight through all alone and didn't get lost!

I never have to drive it again alone again.

Our time together was amazing and neither of us wanted me to leave.  Luckily I will be back a week from tomorrow.

Times up

The past 13 days have gone by WAY to fast.  I feel like I just got to NY and at the same time it feels like I have always been here.

I am NOT looking forward to the drive back tomorrow.  I know I can do it, but the excitement I felt coming out here is just not the same for going back to IL.  Although I am very excited for my bridal shower on Sunday!  And to open response cards I know are waiting at my mom's.

Over the weekend P and I went to Bolt Castle on Heart Island, about 45 minutes away.  The island is in the St. Lawrence Seaway on the border of Canada.  The grounds were amazing!  The castle itself is still undergoing many renovations since the 1970's, but seeing the old photo's you can imaging the splendor.  We also took the extra trip to the one remaining boat house, the boats in it were incredible!  It was such a nice way to spend time together and enjoy the warmer weather and our new home area.

After we checked some of the local restaurants out, but none of them looked that great so we just went to Texas Roadhouse.  And ate WAY to much yummy bread and steak.

Looking forward to coming back in about two weeks to move in to the townhouse!!  WoooWhoo!

Thankful Thursday

We didn't move this week, but that means we get to move into a way nice updated town home over Memorial Day weekend!

P indulged my OCD and ran a ton of errands on Saturday buying lots of cleaning and organizational supplies!

P has taken Violet out in the morning before PT while I fall back asleep.

We had a nest of baby birds in our dryer vent.  The maintenance guy told me he had to kill the 3 little birdies, their eyes weren't even open!!!  But then he said he couldn't do it, the local zoo was going to take them.

P has worked so hard at thinning lots of un-needed stuff out and reorganizing some of what he has.  What a trooper!

It has been amazing to have this time to just be like a normal couple and spend time together.  I am so very happy I was able to come out here.

Life is GREAT!

I am here in New York!

I arrived on Thursday afternoon, the drive took exactly 14 hours.  I was really surprised how fast it went even with multiple potty/coffee/dog walking stops.  Once I got to P's apartment I was ready to run in pee and throw myself on the couch.... but my lovely fiancee moved the key from our planned hiding spot because he was out of the field on Thursday and thought he'd be home before I arrived.  But I got there before him, 45 minutes later he arrived.  I wanted to kill him!!  I was really tired (up since 1am) and exhausted from the drive.

Minus the minor arrival hiccup the weekend was amazing!  I slept in, which is amazing for me.  Cleaned and started organizing the apartment.  Helped P thin out a lot of stuff and get rid of old paperwork.  We are not moving into the townhouse until I am back for Memorial Day weekend, which is totally ok since it gives us more time to just really move what needs to be and take care of what doesn't.

Friday we went to a Hail and Farewell.  It was nice to meet two wives of guys that P works.  They were both extremely nice.  They had the event at an Italian Heritage Center, the food was really good!  Looking forward to meeting more and more ladies. 

Saturday we ran a million errands...brunch, Gap, joined Sam's Club, Petco, Bed Bath & Beyond, Old Navy, Target, PX, and commissary.  Whewwww!

We have cooked some really yummy food.  P now even has some delicious meals in the freezer too!

Today I have a pot luck luncheon with some other wives in a town on Lake Ontario!

This trip already has been the best idea we ever have had, it's a great insight to how great life will be after July!

Check, Check, Check

I feel like I am in total CHECK mode.  Everything has a list or is on a list that I need to check off.

I have gotten a TON done since I finished working. 

My future mother-in-law came down today.  We went and pick out yarn for a afghan she is making (it's a pretty yellow for our guest bedroom), had lunch at my favorite place, and then stuck on custom labels onto 108 water bottles for our guest bags.  Then her and my mom helped assemble and address all of our wedding invitations, which where also mailed off today.  And we got all the rehearsal dinner invites addressed so I can mail them from New York.

I am super excited to meet some ladies while I am in NY, two lunch dates!!!!  Also was invited to a "Coffee" for P's unit.  It sounds fun, they are making soaps at a local place.  But I have no clue what a "Coffee" entails and it's one of the few weeknights P will be home.  So I am guessing I will pass and go to one once we are married and I have moved out there.

Leaving at 2AM for my loooooong drive on Thursday.  Next post from NY!

Thankful Thurday

Special time I have gotten to spend with my closest friend and her sweet new baby girl. 

We found a townhouse.  It's in the same neighborhood/complex P already lives in.  We haven't actually seen it or signed a lease, but they say it has new flooring and appliances.

P still wants me to come to NY, even though a big chunk of the time I will be there he will be in the field.  At least I will get him all packed up, apartment deep cleaned for move out, and moved into the townhouse (finger double criss-crossed)!!

People who love me and want to be at our wedding celebrating our new love and the start of out new life.

Wedding Wednesday

So although not working this week so far has been a little strange and some what anxiety inducing, it hasn't been so bad. 

I have been keeping really busy with wrapping up some wedding stuff.  Such as buying 128 bottles of water at Sam's Club so that my future mother-in-law and I can rip all the labels off and stick on some new custom wedding labels in a few weeks. 

I also went to our reception site today.  I was so pleasantly surprised to see a ton of amazing improvements.  I can't wait for the party there!  It's not only going to be gorgeous but SO much fun!

Church stuff is done.  Well as long as the priest is ok with the readings we picked out...   Loved the music ladies.  They were so excited to play at our wedding.  I found out that our church only does 2-3 weddings every year, and this will be the priest first wedding at this church.  I feel like this bit of info is very enlightening.

Also have the rehearsal dinner invites being designed, the shower invites are out and are SOOOO pretty!

Lots of good stuff going on.

Blessing in Disguise

Sometimes things that seem awful are really just blessings in disguise. 

After some events that happened last week at work P and I talk about our options and decided that it would be best to give my notice on Friday.  After I gave it to my manager I was asked to pack my stuff and leave.  It was heart breaking.  I had no chance to say good-bye to my clients and felt like the past 3 years working for the company was not appreciated at all.

The upside is that I am going to New York for the majority of May.  I am driving out the beginning in May and staying for about 2 weeks.  Coming home for my shower, then flying back for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. 

P went and checked out the house we thought we were going to rent.  Thank goodness he did because from the 2 pictures he sent and the shape he told me it is in there is no way we will be moving in.  Luckily he gave me the number for a townhouse subdivision right outside of post that has open rentals!!  I think it will be a much better fit.  Well maintained homes, lawn care, snow removal, close to post and shopping!  We are hoping that we can move in while I am out there in a few weeks.  Super excited to start getting settled in to our home.

Saturday my friend Jenny and I went to a bachelor auction that was to benefit a local organization that houses abused women and children.  Jen bought a date and talked with some nice guys.  I bought a fun photo package.  The best part of the night was getting all dressed up!

what are we waiting for

Easter weekend with P was great!  No surprise there.  Even our meeting with the priest who wouldn't look at me and told me I am P's subject and must obey him was better just because we were sitting next to each other.

As we were getting in the car to go to the airport on Monday I joked with him that I should just pack and bag and grab Violet and we should drive back to NY.  At the time it was more of a joke since we both didn't want to have to leave each other.

I went back to work yesterday and had one of the worst days ever.  I had already started feeling pretty mentally checked out, but still very attached to my clients.  We have had a TON of change in the salon in the past 4-6 months and it's not the salon I once enjoyed going into everyday.  I called P after I left and was pretty upset.  I asked him why am I doing this.  Other than my clients, of course, and the fact I love doing hair I dread going to work.

Again we brought up, this time not joking, me just coming to NY now.  Not moving yet, just a long visit.  I could leave next weekend and drive back in May for my shower.  It's so tempting.  We are both at the point where we just want to be together.  I have most of the wedding stuff done with.  Just little detail things that I can work on out there and once I get back in May.

But what would I do all day out there????  I'm guessing pack his stuff for our move into the house, clean the apartment, P90X my brain out, and cook.

What to do, what to do....  Wish someone would say "Do it!  You only live once"  or "Don't, wait until after the wedding.  Tough it out"

Sunday Ramblings

The week is finally here!  It's the week P comes!

This also the start of Holy Week.  I went to church tonight at the parish I grew up in. The priest is a riot.  He gave an awesome homily.  Made we want to let go of a lot of the stress I am caring around and use this week as a fresh start.  Not that I am not happy or anything like that, but I have been edgy and getting way to easily upset and taking my stress out on those closest to me.

I am watching the ACM's tonight.  Jason Aldean is singing his new song that I totally love.  Makes me so excited for our drive out to New York this summer and the start of our new life.  The night I met P Jason Aldean was the headliner at the music fest we were at (we did not see him).  Funny because P hates country music and it makes me think about him so much.

Thankful Thursday, plus some

I want to post a normal Thankful Thursday post, but first I need a mini bitch session....

I am so TIRED of making decisions.  I HATE hearing "I don't know" or "It's up to you"  every time I ask for advice.  Then when I actually know how I want something being met with total resistance.

My car has been a total pain in the ass for almost 7 years.  I have never gone more than 3 months without something major needing to be done.  Yesterday I was driving to get one of the front wheel bearings replaced when a HUGE rock hit my windshield and chipped it.  Then after I dropped it off for the planned work they called me to say it needs much more major work done.  Something with the part that keeps the wheels on.  Of course with my car the part is MUCH more costly.  So it will be back to the shop on Monday to get it done since I can't drive on the expressways as it is, which means I need it done so I can pick P up next Friday.  The glass guy is coming to the house by noon today to fill the chip.

Work has been sooooooo slow.  I make commission so when I have no clients I make no money.  On top of that I feel somewhat mentally checked out already.  2 months left.

I ordered the wrong style wedding invites.  It is totally my own fault for not noticing the style more closely.  Annoying still.  They should be here today.  On Saturday I am taking them to a printer to see if they can cut the extra part off and use it to print our map on.  If not oh well, only I will know....and all of you.

OK that's feels better to get off my chest

I am Thankful this week for:

Tuesday with my dearest friend.  Lunch, errands, her amazing help with my registry, shopping at Oak Brook (my new happy place), and enjoying time together before both our lives change so much in these upcoming weeks and months.

Finding awesome dining room chairs.  They are more unique then the ones I first liked and $50 less!  Plus I was able to drop one off with the guy making our table and he's matching the stain to the seat and painting the pedestal black.

We found a rental house!!  I will tell the whole story and share pictures once we know 100% we are getting it.  But the house is AMAZING!!  Built in the 1800's or earlier 1900's.  Totally renovated and updated.  3 beds and 2.5 baths, plus a HUGE yard.  And it's very close to post.  P is going to look at it in person on the 14th and we are hoping to sign the lease ASAP.  I am over the moon about being back in my own space.

I picked my veil up yesterday at the bridal shop.  The sales lady that helped me came up to chat.  I was saying how I wish I had bought a smaller size dress since mine is huge on me now.  Another girl pipped in explaining (some what rudely, but informatively) that I need side seem alterations.  I called the seamstress and she agreed to do them.  I think I will feel much better and the dress will look much nicer.  I also found out that I can drop my dress and veil back off the week of the wedding to be steamed and the bodice stuffed.  The best part is they will keep it until the night before the wedding!

We are getting married in exactly 100 days!

Only 8 more days until P is here.  I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!

Finding a Nest

I have been having the strangest dreams lately.  I think it's in part that my stress is creeping up again.  I keep thinking I will forget to pack stuff for the move.  It's so silly since I will be home about about month after we move and my mom can always ship stuff to me.  I think the crazy warm weather is tricking my mind into thinking the wedding and move are much closer than they really are.  Last night I dreamt that gas was only $3.33 a gallon rather than the $4.40 it really is.  Sad, huh.

Right now P has an apartment off post.  It's 2 bedrooms, on the second floor, with a detached one car garage.  It's nice, has a huge kitchen and great living space.  But his lease is up the beginning of June and we (I) would really like a house with 3 bedrooms, a yard for Violet, a 2 car garage, and more storage space.  I have been looking on Craigslist and have found a few places that would work for us but for some reason landlords there only post places that are available NOW, not ones that are available in the future.  Totally different to what I am used to here.  So P thinks we (he) should just sign a lease soon so that we have a place secured and he can start slowly working on moving his stuff in and cleaning out the apartment.  We'll see what happens, not as easy as I thought it would be to find something from a distance as I thought it would be.

I am anxious to get out there and enjoy our life.  We found out that P will be deploying to Afghanistan sometime after the New Year.  I want to fit so much stuff in to the time we get together after the wedding.  I have put off posting this because I didn't know how to share it, if I wanted to share it, and if I wanted to continue this blog.  But there is it.

Thankful Thursday

I got a surprise call from P last night!!!  Because of work he told me Tuesday night he couldn't be able to call again until Saturday, no big deal it was only going to be 3-4 days.  Then he called last night because he found out they are only working 12 hours shifts!  So happy to get to talk!

For my health.  Life is so very precious.

It has been in the 80's all week.  Yesterday was actually 86!  The downside is I have NO summer clothes that fit.  Yes, it's amazing I have lost all this weight.  But, holy expensive to buy a whole new wardrobe.  Plus with the money funnelling out for the wedding and some of my medical bills I still have it's makes me a little panicky.

I am sticking with P90X, it's really hard but I love waking up sore in the morning.

Only 2 more weeks to go until P is here for Easter.  It's super hard going over a month without seeing each other, but I guess it's good practice.

Decisions

My blog....

I started this blog last summer right after P and I met.  I thought it would be a great way to journal through our long distance relationship.

Since our engagement it has changed a lot.  For one I am barely posting.  There is a lot of change, both exciting a scary ahead of us.  I am purposely avoiding blogging about it because I feel like my blog has become much less anonymous. 

I feel like I either need to just say what the hell and really publish posts that are about what I think and what's really going on, or I need to start a new blog where I can do that.  Not sure what is best.

On a totally other note I hit 65 pounds lost this week!!  I am feeling awesome with doing P90X (so happy P gave me all the DVD's) and with my diet.  I started making a version of a smoothie I saw on Pinterest.

Delish Smoothie

1/4 C Blackberries

1/4 C Blueberries

1/3 C Strawberries

1/3 C Chopped Pineapple

1/2 of a Banana

1 1/2 C Spinach

1 TB Ground Flax Seed

1/4 C Trop 50 OJ

Just blend everything up and enjoy

Just because I am really proud of myself here is a picture from this week 1 year ago (I had already lost about 20lbs)

 

 

Sarasota, FL March 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is one from last weekend

Marissa's Baby Shower March 2012

Thankful Thursday

I have done P90X for the third time this week.  I actually am loving it!  I hope I start seeing results soon.

 

My mom gets back from Colorado on Saturday, which means only 2 more nights of sleeping in bed with 5 dogs and getting up 5 plus times to let them out and feed them in the middle of the night.

It was 80! yesterday!!  I have the windows open and am loving the warm weather.

P will be here in 3 weeks from tomorrow.  I am so excited for Easter and his help on finishing our guest book.

Thankful Thursday

I made myself do P90X for the second time today.  It was hard, I feel like I couldn't do enough of it.  But I did it

I mastered transferring a loaned book to my Kindle.

Sunday is daylight savings.  Yay for Spring almost being here!

3 months from today is my last day of work!!  Which is sort of bittersweet.  I am going to miss my clients and doing hair everyday, but not the salon drama and silly corporate rules.

I found a moving quote that was $1,700 less then the first one I got!  And its from a major moving company! Plus they are coming the Monday after the wedding so we will have my hair styling chair to use on the wedding day here!