Neglected

Neglected is what this blog is.....

My computer bit the dust.  I got a new one over the weekend ( Thanks P!!!), but I have no internet.  I am going to Panera, Corner Bakery, Caribou, etc to use the WiFi. I think it's making me fat since I have to get food, cookies, or coffee every time :)

 I think I am going to put blogging on hold until after the wedding.

Not only am I busy, but what I want to blog about is to personal and needs to wait for after the big day.

Needless to say I am anxious for July to get here.  I can't wait to be P's wife and get back to NNY, which now feels more like home than I ever could have thought it would.

Times up

The past 13 days have gone by WAY to fast.  I feel like I just got to NY and at the same time it feels like I have always been here.

I am NOT looking forward to the drive back tomorrow.  I know I can do it, but the excitement I felt coming out here is just not the same for going back to IL.  Although I am very excited for my bridal shower on Sunday!  And to open response cards I know are waiting at my mom's.

Over the weekend P and I went to Bolt Castle on Heart Island, about 45 minutes away.  The island is in the St. Lawrence Seaway on the border of Canada.  The grounds were amazing!  The castle itself is still undergoing many renovations since the 1970's, but seeing the old photo's you can imaging the splendor.  We also took the extra trip to the one remaining boat house, the boats in it were incredible!  It was such a nice way to spend time together and enjoy the warmer weather and our new home area.

After we checked some of the local restaurants out, but none of them looked that great so we just went to Texas Roadhouse.  And ate WAY to much yummy bread and steak.

Looking forward to coming back in about two weeks to move in to the townhouse!!  WoooWhoo!

what are we waiting for

Easter weekend with P was great!  No surprise there.  Even our meeting with the priest who wouldn't look at me and told me I am P's subject and must obey him was better just because we were sitting next to each other.

As we were getting in the car to go to the airport on Monday I joked with him that I should just pack and bag and grab Violet and we should drive back to NY.  At the time it was more of a joke since we both didn't want to have to leave each other.

I went back to work yesterday and had one of the worst days ever.  I had already started feeling pretty mentally checked out, but still very attached to my clients.  We have had a TON of change in the salon in the past 4-6 months and it's not the salon I once enjoyed going into everyday.  I called P after I left and was pretty upset.  I asked him why am I doing this.  Other than my clients, of course, and the fact I love doing hair I dread going to work.

Again we brought up, this time not joking, me just coming to NY now.  Not moving yet, just a long visit.  I could leave next weekend and drive back in May for my shower.  It's so tempting.  We are both at the point where we just want to be together.  I have most of the wedding stuff done with.  Just little detail things that I can work on out there and once I get back in May.

But what would I do all day out there????  I'm guessing pack his stuff for our move into the house, clean the apartment, P90X my brain out, and cook.

What to do, what to do....  Wish someone would say "Do it!  You only live once"  or "Don't, wait until after the wedding.  Tough it out"

Thankful Thursday

I got a surprise call from P last night!!!  Because of work he told me Tuesday night he couldn't be able to call again until Saturday, no big deal it was only going to be 3-4 days.  Then he called last night because he found out they are only working 12 hours shifts!  So happy to get to talk!

For my health.  Life is so very precious.

It has been in the 80's all week.  Yesterday was actually 86!  The downside is I have NO summer clothes that fit.  Yes, it's amazing I have lost all this weight.  But, holy expensive to buy a whole new wardrobe.  Plus with the money funnelling out for the wedding and some of my medical bills I still have it's makes me a little panicky.

I am sticking with P90X, it's really hard but I love waking up sore in the morning.

Only 2 more weeks to go until P is here for Easter.  It's super hard going over a month without seeing each other, but I guess it's good practice.

Decisions

My blog....

I started this blog last summer right after P and I met.  I thought it would be a great way to journal through our long distance relationship.

Since our engagement it has changed a lot.  For one I am barely posting.  There is a lot of change, both exciting a scary ahead of us.  I am purposely avoiding blogging about it because I feel like my blog has become much less anonymous. 

I feel like I either need to just say what the hell and really publish posts that are about what I think and what's really going on, or I need to start a new blog where I can do that.  Not sure what is best.

On a totally other note I hit 65 pounds lost this week!!  I am feeling awesome with doing P90X (so happy P gave me all the DVD's) and with my diet.  I started making a version of a smoothie I saw on Pinterest.

Delish Smoothie

1/4 C Blackberries

1/4 C Blueberries

1/3 C Strawberries

1/3 C Chopped Pineapple

1/2 of a Banana

1 1/2 C Spinach

1 TB Ground Flax Seed

1/4 C Trop 50 OJ

Just blend everything up and enjoy

Just because I am really proud of myself here is a picture from this week 1 year ago (I had already lost about 20lbs)

 

 

Sarasota, FL March 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is one from last weekend

Marissa's Baby Shower March 2012

The weekend update!

P was here over the past weekend, so rather than posting what I am most thankful for this week I thought I would give you all an update on all the fun we are having.

We had one of the best weekends we probably ever have had.  It was much needed time to be together.  We had a fun time registering for the wedding and having our tasting for the reception.  The food was so seriously amazing! Friday night we made homemade pizzas.  I convinced him to let me make one BBQ chicken, of course he liked it.  I made it with chicken I baked in ranch dressing, then shredded.  Topped the pizza with pickled jalapenos, red onion, smoked Gouda cheese, and fresh cilantro...YUM!

 On Saturday we got to celebrate our first Valentines. I surprised him with a couples massage at a local spa, so relaxing!  We also went and ordered our wedding bands and he let me pick out a pair of the coolest earrings for my Valentines gift!  Saturday evening we went to our favorite sushi place and ate an insane amount of the best sushi ever!  We had so much we actually missed making our movie. It was so worth it!  I loved that we laughed and talked rather than just sitting next to each other in the theater.  I also had the most delish martini....Key Lime!  It was soooo yummy! 

Sunday we took the train into the city to meet with our photographers to take our engagement photos.  It was a blast!  They found really cool, off the beaten path places for us.  I'll post some once they send me the teaser.

Monday was time for goodbye.  We had brunch at our favorite place in my hometown.  Then ran a few errands.  Dropping him off at the airport always sucks, but in a way has gotten a little easier since there is an end to this in sight.  Just barely more than 4 months to go. 

After I dropped him off I had to go have oral surgery.  I have about 20 stitches in my mouth.  I took off from work the past few days to recover a little more and am headed back to work today.  I have just been relaxing and working on packing some of the stuff P's parents gave me of his for us to move.

Thankful Thursday

I am so thankful.....

P is flying in bright and early tomorrow morning!

We are going to have a weekend filled with lots of FUN wedding stuff!  We are registering, food tasting, and the best part engagement pictures!

P and I are getting to have a belated Valentines on Saturday.  Sushi and a movie.

P is so sweet and bringing me his P90X DVDs so I can whip my body in to shape for this wedding!

I bought my "dressy" top option for the engagement shots and I am a SMALL!  WooooWhooo!!

It's 9:45am and I have already done a load of laundry, cleaned the whole downstairs, made pizza dough for tomorrow night, and a batch of Carmel Salted Peanut Brownies.  I love busy mornings!

Thankful Thursday

Sorry for not posting in over a week!!  Trust me no one would have wanted to hear me last Thursday after my upper GI scope.  Lets just say the drugs won.  P was in the field and I could only inform him of what was going on via text.  Texting is not a great form of communication when one person is very drugged up and emotional :)

We did get some answers from the test.  Basically nothing is wrong with my stomach or GI system, but all this "stress"  they seem to think I have is what's causing me all this pain and sickness.  So I am now on some more stuff to help control that and have actually eaten really food in the past week.  I even had PIZZA!! YUMMY!

So this week I am so thankful for.....

This warm snow free winter.  I think it makes everyone happier

P working hard!  Not only had his demanding job but at working on our guest list.

All the big stuff for the wedding is DONE!  All I have now is the fun little details.

I meet with the priest and we are for sure getting married in the Church.  All we have to do for Pre Cana is NFP, which I am doing mine tomorrow night.  I was dreading it, but I listened to the CD portion today and actually found it very interesting.  I'm still not excited to sit in a class for 3.5 hours (on a Friday night) about having sex as a married couple alone....but that's life :)

I am so thankful for awesome bridesmaids that are headed on a shoe search with me on Saturday!  I am sure we will have sooooo much fun!

Free time

I actually have some extra free time this afternoon!  I got done with work early, which is not nessically a good thing since we are so slow at work. But it gave me some extra time to run around get returns done and come home catch up on blog reading and real reading.

P is leaving for the field tomorrow for a week.  Even though we don't live together I sort of dread it since we only get random texts and no talking.  I wish I could be there to help him get ready and enjoy some time together.

At least I can do lots of regular life catch up and not really worry about any wedding stuff for a few days :)  Maybe even more than one post a week!!! YAY!

Home for Christmas

It's finally here, P will be here tomorrow!

Work today was sorta sucky.  I wasn't super busy and after going 3 days with not much stomach pain I had major pain all day.  Wish I could get in to see a doctor before the middle of January, but I'll have to be patient..

 I got home did some minor cleaning, made Violet a Christmas ribbon necklace,  and just decided to relax.  Doing my typical pre seeing P routine of face mask, painting nails, etc.  Tomorrow I just have to finish cleaning and wait for him to get here.  I can't wait for all the fun we are going to have over the next two weeks.

Skype Stories

So P's ball is tonight.  I am really bummed out that I am not there.  He didn't tell me until shortly before Thanksgiving.  Along with him waiting to tell me about it until there was no possible way to plan to go, it would have also been hard to get time off this time of the year.  I have done pretty well with the distance lately, but today was super duper hard.  I am sure it's because I know he was getting all dressed up and I wasn't going with him.  I am really lucky since he sent a pic of him in his dress uniform and some really sweet text.

My mom and I had planned on making a ton of Christmas cookie dough tonight so we can bake like crazy.  We got 2 types of fudge done and 6 doughs chilling. I also made 12 half pints of body scrub to give as gifts.  I'll post that recipe and photos later.

We haven't seen my sister since July, she lives in Minnesota.  I suggested to my mom that they skype with each other.  So I got my mom, sister, and Steve all set up on skype.  It was really entertaining and awesome to see my sister.

I am grateful to have my mom and Steve around tonight to help keep me busy and not lonely :)

So much to be thankful for

What a great holiday weekend!  P and I had such a great time together with our families over the weekend! I am home sick today with a super nasty cold and almost no voice.

We started of by me picking him up and headed down to Indy.  I loved the car ride down there, so nice to have a few hours alone.  We were able to catch up and just enjoy being close again.  His family was great.  I was able to meet his sister and more extended family from his dads side.  Everyone was really nice and easy to be with.  The food of course was really good.  His aunt made a family bread recipe called Firehouse Bread, it was REALLY yummy.  Of course I ate to many carbs! 

Friday  we went to a great little town in Southern Indiana called Nashville. The drive was so pretty, gorgeous hills and trees.  P's sister rode with us.  It was nice to get time to talk just with her.  We did lots of window shopping with the whole family and took time time on our own.  We went to lunch at a really cute old restaurant.  They served these really yummy fried biscuits with the best apple butter ever!  I could have just had those :).  I picked up a cool Christmas gift for my mom and two handmade clay bowls for myself. 

Saturday we headed back to my mom's for a party she was having.  P and I got some stuff ready for dinner, relaxed from the drive,  and then headed to mass with my mom and Steve.  We both loved the priest, his homily was so good.  I think we were both happy to have gone together.

The party was fun.  There was so much yummy food, talking, and laughing.  P's parents sent us back with a cheesecake they had made, it was a big hit. 

Sunday of course had to come.  I always hate the last day.  It didn't help I woke up with the starts of a nasty cold.  We relaxed and slept in a little.  P had to back his stuff.  Violet sat with him watching him pack and demanding he take breaks to pet her.  We had bunch at my favorite place.  Then went and saw the Muppet's.  It was nice because the theater had movable armrests.  We were able to sit nice and close to enjoy some time being near before he left.  The airport goodbye always sucks.  We only have about 3 weeks until he's back again.

Gobble Gobble

I made it though the week!  It's was AMAZING and TIRING!  I am going to treat myself to a new Coach purse I saw on their factory store website earlier this week.

P get here at 0'Dark Thirty tomorrow.  I am really really excited to see him.  For some reason this time apart was really hard for me. And it was only 10 days!!  I think part of it was the week after we see each other I usually get to bask in the after glow of the trip, he's always soooo extra sweet.  This time he was in the field right away so we didn't talk for 6 days and then I went into my busy week.  It will be great to have time together again so soon.

I probably won't post again until next week.  I want to enjoy every minute of the long holiday weekend

Bliss

This past weekend was total bliss!  I wish I could have posted about it sooner, but I got a nasty virus on my computer and it was getting fix for the past 5 days.  I finally got it back today...I am sad because all my saved favorite sites are gone.  I know a weird thing to be sad about.

My weekend visiting P was better than I could have ever imagined.  It got off to a really really rocky start though.

Friday

Got to the airport 2 hours early, checked in, and found my gate.

Was enjoying my Starbucks when I realized "Gosh we should have boarded"

Found a person from United....

They said my gated had changed!!!

I could see my plan as it pulled away.

Totally sadness

They confirmed me on a flight 7 hours later and put me on a stand-by list for a flight 2 hours later

Walk what felt like a mile to the new gate in high heel boots

Stand-by flight was booked

Walked by what felt like a mile in high heel boots back to original gate

Started losing my mind, got very sad

Gave myself a blood blister from my suitcase

In line for a latte several milk crates full of gallons of milk fell and broke, spattered milk all over my back

Finally got on the plane for the rockiest ride ever

Landed, saw P, got a kiss

All was good again

Needless to say its was a long day.  But made seeing him all that much better.  Since I got there so much later we decided to got straight to his apartment and catch up a little.  Plus I really wanted to brush my teeth...lol.  We went out for dinner at Texas Road house.  It was awesome.  Felt like a normal Friday night date, nothing crazy.  The wait was long but they had the Carrier Classic on and we were able to talk.  Dinner was sooooo yummy.  I seriously think they have crack in their buns and butter!  After we just relaxed back at his place.

Saturday we got a nice lazy start.  I become this totally relaxed person with him.  We went out for breakfast near his house.  It's a place he had wanted to try because they have a big breakfast challenge type thing.  The food was really good.  The potatoes were amazing!  Next time we go there I will probably just get them. From there we headed to the winery.  The tasting was so good.  We really liked one of the whites, and he's planning on bringing some home for Christmas.  They gave us a tour which was extremely interesting.  I feel like we also learned a lot about the area.  From there we went to the post he works on.  He gave me a little tour and we did some shopping.  We decided that going to the grocery store together to get stuff to make for dinner was our favorite part of the whole weekend!  We made a super yummy dinner together and relaxed at home.

I loved that the weekend was fill with low key normal couple stuff.  I feel like we both appreciate everyday such so much since we don't get to to everyday.  The littlest things become so much more special.  Sunday was time to head home again.  Staying good-bye is the worst.  I think no matter how much time we had together it's still really hard.  The awesome thing is he'll be here in 9 days. 

Dreamland

I think dreams are so interesting.  I believe it's our subconscious talking to us...

I have had the wackiest dreams this week.  I think I am having some anxiety, although I feel pretty calm.  Or I could just be exhausted.

So far this week I have dreamt:

I was 6 hours late for work and was getting fired

I fell asleep at the airport waiting for my flight to see P and missed the flight

That P broke up with me, was super mean and refused to talk with me

These are all crazy things that would never happen in real life.  Thank goodness!

I got a good chunk of packing done last night.  I think I did really great at only packing for 2 days.  Usually I bring several outfit options, not this time.  One sweater for each day!  Although I may throw in an extra top or two just in case :)

Four

I wish I had more to post about this week.  I feel like the only thing going on is work.  I have been really busy there and pretty much come home and melt into my bed.  Except for tonight where I came home from work and did a house client.  Yes I need to learn to say "no I am a little busy this week".  At least it was my very favorite amazing client who is a blast to talk to and now I get to watch the best rerun marathon ever....Sex in the City!

Less than 4 days until I see P!  I am really excited but and not looking forward to my VERY VERY early wake up call.  My flight leaves at 6:20 on Friday.  The airport is about an hour away, probably less without any traffic.  I am parking my car at a valet type service.  This all basically means I am getting up at 1am-ish!  I am working the night before until 9pm so I am crossing my fingers that I can lay down and get a few minutes of sleep.  Will be well worth it once I get that first big kiss and hug :)!!

Thankful Thursday

• In 8 days I will be with P.  I will feel happy, relaxed, and at peace.

• I am working every day until the day I leave.  I will be busy and not at home. 

• I am seeing where my friend Kelly is having her wedding (it's in August) tomorrow night and then going to the restaurant that is catering it for dinner.  Fun wedding talk ahead!

• That I recently rediscovered Victoria's Secret.  Holy cute stuff!  I am addicted!

The Countdown

I always start a serious countdown once I am 10 days from seeing P.  And today my friends is that day! 

10 days until a HUGE kiss and hug

10 days until cooking together

10 days until relaxing next to each other

10 days until a romantic winery trip

10 days until we visit a very old historic cider mill

10 days until utter happiness

{please excuse me I know I am a cheese ball}

In the mean time I am trying to search out groupon and  living social to find a deal for a boot camp.  In the past year-ish I have lost about 45lbs and have sort of hit a plateau.  I would love to kick start loosing more weight and also get more toned.  On top of all of that it would help fill some empty time and maybe help with my HIGH stress levels.  Hopefully I can find one some time this week :)

lonely morning

Some days the truth glares so brightly back at me.  It is usually on Friday nights and all day Saturday.  The truth is I am living here (at my mom's) and P lives in a different time zone.  Yes, I am very happy and excited that the time we have to go between seeing each other this time was only a month (last time was over two months), and we are down to less than two weeks.  This is great!  But there are days that are still really hard.  And to be totally honest feel extremely lonely.

I have done much better at not trying so hard to control the future and ask questions that there really aren't defined answers for.  But there is still a part of me that wants to know what's next.  How long will there be different time zones, plane rides, and long phone calls?????

Sorry is this sounds down, but it's how I feel this morning.  Wishing very hard we were together.

On the other hand I am looking forward tonight.  I am going to a Halloween party with a friend.  I am thinking of being a cowgirl.  I am cheap :) and it's something I can actually make with my own clothes.

Burrrr!

It's cold, damp and windy here!! I officially am over living at my mom's house (it hasn't even been a month)!  I want the heat on and peace and quite.

I am really sorry to sound so pissy but I hate it here.  I keep trying to remember that it's better for P's and my unknown future.  But this afternoon I just want to say "F It" and rent an apartment tomorrow! 

It's only been a week and I miss P like crazy, I just want to be near him even if it was at least driving distance. 

 I miss my townhouse and my own space. 

I miss my couch and having my own kitchen. 

I miss my double sink bathroom.  

I miss my own thermostat! 

I miss my independence. 

But most of all I miss P tonight!

Ok so I am feeling much better :)!  Actually Skyped with P tonight.  We had tried on Saturday night with a bad connection.  I was able to use my mom's iPad tonight!  It was really cool to see each others faces.  I felt like I had the hugest smile the whole time!!  Another amazing thing is we have plans locked down for Thanksgiving!!  He has a Crack of Dawn flight in to Chicago and then we are off for two days in Indiana to see his family.  We also talked about stopping by his Alma Mater on the way back to Chicago.  Really excited to spend our first holiday together.